My father left when I was two and while we spoke a couple times and exchanged a few letters, we’d never met and we only had that limited contact only lasted about two years.

After I had my daughter I decided I needed to deal with a few things and figuring out my daddy issues was at the top of the list. I tracked him down through his ex and got in contact with three siblings from him. I spoke to my dad a couple times and he wasted no time getting weird. He started asking for help with his social security case and that lead to him seemingly inching toward asking for money and snapping on me out of the blue. He’d completely lose his temper during conversations. At the same time I was talking to his daughter and she revealed that he’d been abusive and was all but banished from their lives.

Finally I was like… nah, I’m good. Don’t call me, I won’t call you and all that.

So I posted about it here in GD and one well known poster went all out, telling me I had no business tracking him down because he didn’t want me to begin with/left for a reason type of shit. Just real left field like I was in the wrong for tracking down a guy who abandoned me as a toddler.

Between that and the general sentiments people have regarding mothers and the whole “blood is thicker than water/you only get one mom/she gave you life/just let go of the past type reactions people tend to throw out, I made sure to add that disclaimer in case people had similar ideas on the subject of me not allowing my mom to live with me.