Please show me another occasion for which you are referring cause I honestly don't know what you are talking about (which is also pretty common). And I didn't intend to 'negatively connote' anything either (please don't provide an explanation for this because I'm not interested)

I wish I could have a relationship with my mom without the drama. When 'I' say that....I mean I wish I could have certain experiences with her (grandkids, xmas, birthdays) while maintaining healthy boundaries so I don't ALSO have to deal with the drama she surrounds herself with. I haven't been able to do that. It sounds pretty similar to what you described imo. I'm sorry if I'm wrong about that and mischaracterized YOUR problems with your mom.