>Step out on faith....
>
>I've been such a chicken shit and self sabotage(er) that I've
>been so scared to do anything.

i mentioned in my other post that the perception of stability and safety is really limiting. but it's easy for me to say that now that I AIN'T GOT NO JOB (c) martin, as opposed to 3 mos ago.

>
>But those four words right there...they said it all. If I
>don't believe in me, who the freak will? They say patience is
>a virtue, I don't have it right now.

lol. in my fam we always talking about being scared to pray for patience, b/c God tends to answer that by sending a situation that will truly test your patience. but still, if that's what's needed, that's what's needed. my youngest son in the same place b/c he lowkey freaking out about not having any bball scholarship offers going into his final season in high school. thing is, tho, if it's For You, it's For You.

>Just knowing the things you share with us that you have been
>going through make me realize that my stuff ain't nothing and
>I just need to get my head out of my but and DO IT!

:-)

i wouldn't downplay your situations. but being able to watch other people going through things is a very helpful way to learn and grow w/o having to take the lumps, yourself.

i posted w/ my dear ibm letter, and i tried to be as gracious as possible, even though there was a very real part in me that wanted to go out in a blaze like, "fuck you, fuck YOU, fuck you... not you, you cool, fuck you..." but i had to disassociate my anger and hurt and realize that the vast majority of folks i've worked with have been great. also, a good number of the folks who hit me back in reply let me know that they got the tap on the shoulder also.

so if my words can be an encouragement and point out some hope, i'm blessed for having shared them.


peace & blessings,

x.

www.twitter.com/poetx

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I'm an advocate for working smarter, not harder. If you just
focus on working hard you end up making someone else rich and
not having much to show for it. (c) mad