And the more I think about, the more it makes sense. I'm actually scared at how much it makes sense to me. It feels like relief rather than resignation.

With one exception, being in a relationship with a man has never made my life better. It's only made it worse or had little effect.

I guess you can say I've learned things about myself. I've found I've had to unlearn as much from these relationships as I've learned though.

Rather than focus on finding a mate and having children, I'm going to:

*Stay healthy so I don't have to have someone else take care of me. I know that I can't predict the future, but the elderly people in my family on both sides live long and stay functional. Besides, I've taken care of so many sick friends over the last few years, so I know that energy will come back if needed.

*Build my wealth so I won't need external financial support from a mate (Not that I've ever gotten this before, but that's another post). Seek partners, funders and donors for this purpose.

*Contribute to my community so I have a legacy that doesn't depend on how my biological children turn out.

All of these feel like more enjoyable and fruitful pursuits than romance, which is dependent in large part on the development and capacity of only one other person.

I think a lot of women have made this choice, and are dismissed as bitter. It actually feels amazing to consciously redirect my energy this way.