i aint giving up on this

i'm not going to get into specifics other than he can be a bit selfish/self-centered most of the time, which is pretty much opposite of how i operate. i'm about as comfortable with conflict as wearing a burlap sweater with no tshirt.

i don't need this in my life right now. there's too much else going on. i love the shit out of my brother, but this is putting a bit of a strain on that for sure. i'm sure we'll get past it, but it's buggin' me today.

We both have smart ass mouths and where I once used to be the typical
middle child and try diplomacy over confrontation, now I don't have
the patience or energy.

He's prone to talking reckless and is literally clutching his pearls
at my clapping back. We're experiencing a bit of role reversal from
when we grew up and it'd be great to relish in the irony of that...
but I'm not.

shoulda ended it after she told me she googled me and saw that I had re-posted something on facebook while I was at her house on Saturday. She seemed bothered by that. As if I should spend all my time focused on her

spent the entire weekend with her from Friday night to Sunday

she got mad when I napped, her house was hot like grandmas, that shit make a nigga wanna nap!

last straw was her getting pissed about something that was so simple & acting as if I had an attitude

so much more, but yeah.

Dating nowadays, is so dry man.

You napping and facebooking at her house.
Both of you could be spending your time better it seems if it's still new.

...New Yorkers.

He probably got a roommate and was just happy to get away...

& said "I'm never gonna have a weekend with you like this again"

it was kinda weird

she got made when i did leave, among other things

shit was just weird...

I've got new rules now

hanging about a month

Minus well dip out and enjoy your time.

marriage scares the hell outta me, but its becoming less scary, we are also becoming happier by the day in anticipation of our second son, and seeing the milestones that our first son is reaching.

we are almost where I want to be...progressing...

just waiting on that undeniable gut nudge that says, do it now!

almost there.
🙋
Music is almost everything.

my landlords got $1.4M in CASH for my place...lawd...what I would do for a come up like that lol they owned this place for 20 years so you know.....

anyway so now it leaves me with the decision about my next move

i really want to do the expat thing and go to Bali, Thailand, Vietnam or Germany but if I am honest with myself I am scared to do it alone.

i have never been scared to move to a new city by myself (even when I didn't know anyone in my new city) but something about being outside of the US doing this terrifies me.... but at the same time I feel like I need to get over it and create some really unique and life changing experiences in my life.

i am hoping i can just pull the band-aid off and go for it.

Months. At the very least find a month to month place so you don't end up in a fucked and rushed situation.

>Months. At the very least find a month to month place so you
>don't end up in a fucked and rushed situation.

take longer than the couple of months leading up to Dec 1st
that is why the full plan is to move back to my parents crib in DE for dec/the holidays and head out mid january

i have already done some preliminary research and am part of a popular slack group of digital nomads all over the world

the advice that i have received regarding housing is to find your permanent spot once you get there so that you don't get overcharged

so my plan would be to get an air bnb or hostel spot for the first week and spend that time doing the footwork to find a spot

also in the slack channel there are several co-houses that pop up that i could consider

so i am not as worried about the planning part as I already have pretty good resources for how to go about it....the only thing is that I would need to make the final decision of whether to go in the next week or so that way I know whether to house hunt here as well as to look into flight costs

hence my fear as i know i am in a position to really make this happen

I love it but man... this little monster knows how to get me to hold her all night long.

My wife even said "no one can hold her but her daddy"


which is cool but lil mama needs to let her daddy sleep for a few hours. just a few.

this is the foolishness i just witnessed:

an old black man walks up to a sandwich spot and starts talking to the black man & woman working the counter. he tells them he has x number of dollars on his ebt card and asks what kind of sandwich they can make for him for that amount. they tell him and he makes an order. he asks for his bread to be toasted. they tell him that since he's not paying cash, he can't get his bread toasted. that's the rule: no hot food.

main man asks for the owner. the owner is a young asian guy. he comes over. he's wearing jeans, a hoodie, and an Orioles cap. like any random 25 year old you'd see in the hood. he calmly explains the no hot food policy.

old head channeled the spirit of Do The Right Thing and goes into this tirade about how the guy wasn't even American and he coming over here getting free loans and starting up businesses to take advantage of black people.

the young business owner wasn't tryin to hear none of that. he said "man, i'm more American than you. i was born here, i speak better English than you, i read more than you, i'm smarter than you, and i'll work more hours today than you will for the rest of the month."

they went back & forth for a minute but that was his opening line and the shit stung.

now, i'm pro-Black like Craig Hodges. so i was torn. that's another brother right there. but he wrong as 2 left shoes and he just got chin checked. he walks away cussin trying to gather support from other people nearby. but my skin-folk aint always my kinfolk. so i ain't say a word or break my poker face. i paid for my food and bounced...

but I usually see all types of silly rules for EBT users in those types of spots.

and I think those rules are in place because of outburst like this..lol

so your deadbeat ass won't be in the street with a warm meal in your belly selling/doing drugs

that's the apartheid thinking of our modern welfare system

>that's the apartheid thinking of our modern welfare system

shit is "apartheid"

.

it was no point in getting indignant because he can't have his bread toasted. those are the rules, and he knows it. if they let this pass, other ppl would try him too...but more than likely if the store was empty and the man was being calm, they might have let him slide. you can only get hooked up when ppl know you cool but to blow up like that over not toasting some bread? nigga bye.

old black men hate chi...I mean Asian folks btw



and I mean hate

>old black men hate chi...I mean Asian folks btw


Why you think they hate that brown chinese man Manny Pacquiao? lol

w/a softer approach he might've been able to get what he wanted. the manager might've been willing to look the other way about the hot food/EBT rule.

and DAMN @ the manager's response. lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0upCuaJVC0

.
.
.

.

.
.
.

my last meal there would be my last meal there, you know what I'm saying?

i've been to hood spots where the relationship between the customers & the establishment is hostile. customers cuss at em and bark out their orders and get really wild with it.






***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

wow.
I ain't going...
but wow.


"Get ready..for your blessing..."

especially issues involving the opposite sex...

an older brother or sister would've been awesome for that.

I can't talk to my parents about that (well, I could, but talking about parents about how to manage your flock is awkward). Friends, yeah. But, man, having a sibling on deck for these times seems like it would be hella clutch.

This is perhaps the only time when I envy all of the non-only-childs out there.

I want a job in a certain rust belt city that would significantly lower my cost of living. It's not a sexy or happening city, but in all honesty I don't care. I want this job sooo badly it's embarrassing.

Thus far I've had one interview that in my mind went well, and I won't know until next week whether I go onto the next round. I normally am a patient person, but in my current job time is running out and in general the potential money that I could save moving to this city is big.

I hate wanting, and I try not to do it, but damn I want this shit. :-(

and it almost made me cry

Im just here to Kiss some hands and Shake some babies....

... gives me a bad feeling. Looking at Salt Lake City like I don't know about this. I've given a quite a few people a friendly I ain't the one chit chat from time to time over the shit.

Thinking about going on vacation.

Soylent 2.0 tastes great and is my go to when life gets too busy.

Who wants a OP2 invite? 24 hours left.....

Peep the link https://instagram.com/p/8jRMLNx0zg/

n/m

.

this is related to that legal post i made recently

got back to my partners about the situations and now im a bit more confused than ever

....have a few 'big brothers' i rap with when things get confusing etc...but they're still friends at the end of the day ..so there's a level of familiarity and subjectivity that's always going to be there...and i think is kinda impossible to shake..

I feel like some days i need to be told the unabashed, objective, impersonal truth ....today is one of those days.

song out my head: https://soundcloud.com/tate_kobang/tate-kobang-bank-rolls-remix

I left 3 Xanax bars in my pants pockets and totally forgot bout it & sent them to the cleaners, I went back to pick up my shit & the lady kindly put them in a baggy for me and put them on the hanger, I'm not sure if she knew what they were but God bless all the trap cleaners. Ms. Kim you the best.

My OG is dying & they put him on the countdown for a couple months, he started hospice recently & when I tell you they're the best...BRUH! Those folks are for real Angels renicarnate from making you comfortable to delivering meds, I'm thinkin bout signing up as a volunteer.

Sorry, I missed Wednesday. Busy day. This relocation stuff is not fun!!! I can't wait until its over and we are settled. But, we gotta find a place first...and sell our house. Anyone want to buy a 5 bedroom, 3 bath in Durham, NC (right outside RTP)?

I can't believe I am going to say this. But, due to being so busy lately...I'm kinda over Scandal and Empire. But, I'm not missing How to Get Away With Murder. That is my ENTIRE SHIT!!!!

Haven't done this in a minute

: I tried and I give up now
: I can't believe I feel this anxious about something so insignificant
: you're wack. Everyone has an opinion. I voiced mine. Get over it.

Damb near like a hater now lol.

But I'm in an environment where a lot of suckas prosper.

Is what it is.

You can step all out ur lane and folk just shrug lol.

Rampant biting across the country now too.

The norm now. Page stalking for ideas (thirsty).

And thru it all...blessed as hell lol.

No perfect place for me so for now I just humbly continue to the next
level and stay cool.

in my life. I can feel it hovering there with a couple of people and I want to properly deal with it before "infects" me.

Does that sound crazy to say?

I guess another way to put it is just that I have a feeling that something bad may happen soon so I should be on my toes and doing all the right things to try and minimize that.

An even simpler way to put it is I got a bad feeling about this guys trip I got coming up.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma