(alternate title)


first thing is old news. second thing is old news. third thing is new, well, as of april.

by the Associative Property of Crazy i should be clean out of my motherfucking mind.

i am going to ramble. i will say things that are insensitive (sorry in advance). iono what i am typing for. maybe it will be cathartic. maybe not. i haven't 'written' written in a minute.

don't cry for me, argentina. i know there are mad ppl who got it worse than i do, and i'm thankful for the life i've lived and what i got. but sometimes life is a bit much, so this is me leaning against a wall and exhaling for a minute. bear with me if you fool w/ me een a little bit.



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in april my pop went out to OH for family reunion (his ppls do a big easter egg hunt thing every year). the ancestral homelands for me is a small town in nj. sister lives in md. i rest in nc now.

my mom drives my dad down to md to my sister's crib. my sister and father fly out to OH. (dad is 71. my sister is mid forties).

he doing it up out there. challenging the young nephews to push up contests an shit. he retired after 35+ yrs of coaching and teaching in nj. was a phys ed + health + driver's ed teacher in the high schools and elementary schools.

having big fun. he is one of 7 siblings. 4 have passed. now it's just him, his older brother and baby sis left. all 3 have some chronic health issues.

dad out there over doing it w/ the bottle. he has chilled over the last many years, but had been drinking again of late. he overdid it, holmes (c) epmd.

he was already on blood thinners. and had a heart arrhythmia. after a binge on saturday night, on easter sunday, he develops a persistent nosebleed.

on monday (4/6), when he and my sister are posedta fly back to md, his nose dripping like a faucet. so bad they go to emergency room in the morning. they pack it. he gets on the plane.

flies to md. he smokes a cigarette. it starts bleeding again. profusely. he makes the first of what will be several emergency room visits in md.

over the next week he is in and out of ERs in 3 or 4 different area hospitals. none can stop the bleeding. they try to cauterize the vessels. no dice. they put some balloon in there. no dice.

in the meantime, he has now been up for several days w/o sleeping. when he goes to the hospital, my sister, who has two young (teen and preteen) daughters, and is recently (last couple of years) divorced, stays in the room w/ him.

on saturday, someone calls for an embolization (don't know if it was the ENT's suggestion, or if my sister pushed him into it). i am told (i've been in the loop via phone) that the procedure involves inserting a plastic bead, via catheter, into the artery that is supplying the blood flow to the back of his nose.

i get a call late saturday night... dad had a major stroke on the operating table and very nearly died and is still very close to death.

i drive up on sunday (4 to 5 hrs, depending upon traffic). i damn near teleported up there. the lord kept me from getting a ticket that day.

peace & blessings,

x.

www.twitter.com/poetx

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I'm an advocate for working smarter, not harder. If you just
focus on working hard you end up making someone else rich and
not having much to show for it. (c) mad