I'm on the verge of really letting something out on someone knowing i shouldn't.

Only Geah can make Confession Wednesday posts?

>Only Geah can make Confession Wednesday posts?

>>Only Geah can make Confession Wednesday posts?
>

it to heart but it can only be done by one person

U that pressed?

in all seriousness

fish grease is right

u can put it up

but it will go wood

i'm grandfathered in on this shit.

This is truth. Unless Geah is on vacay or something. No one takes other CW post seriously.

you are still my favorite okp

Can't even stomach the sight of them anymore.

And not gangs. Actually you probably could have the gangs patrol their neighborhoods-- that's how Fire Departments got started if I recall. It wouldn't be perfect, but communities need to be patrolled by the folks that make them up and all this cowardly brotherhood shit has to be scrapped. The institution needs to be re-worked.

As it stands though-- if I'm in a situation where cops are needed I hope no-one calls and if my friends or loved ones are in danger I'll put my life on the line. I don't want to get too old anyway.

Nothing to say about the quality; I'm sure it's great. I bought two Queen gift boxes for my sisters and one for my uncle. The box came and it was 60% bikini scrubs and moisturizers. They're going in my wife's stocking. I feel weird giving crotch scrubs to my sisters.

>Nothing to say about the quality; I'm sure it's great. I
>bought two Queen gift boxes for my sisters and one for my
>uncle. The box came and it was 60% bikini scrubs and
>moisturizers. They're going in my wife's stocking. I feel
>weird giving crotch scrubs to my sisters.

I had hoped that a Christmas gift box would have more general use stuff. I wouldn't give these boxes to my mother, sister or boss.

im sure nobody thought about that. i'd send an email and let them know. you have a good point. i would think they'd appreciate that feedback.


>I had hoped that a Christmas gift box would have more general
>use stuff. I wouldn't give these boxes to my mother, sister or
>boss.


...

Vee is I and I am She

...

http://twitter.com/#!/Phenomenality
http://instagram.com/therealphenomenality
http://phenomenality.tumblr.com/archive

I know everyone is right
But I also know who I am and my worth
His wants will never lead me to compromise my integrity
I really think he just wants to know where I am
He doesn't necessarily want me
But he wants to know I am there
After 17 years, I get it

My flight got changed
Adding an extra 24 hrs of travel time
I was pissed at first
But now my friend will meet me in dubai
So I can do all the touristy things
I wasn't able to do a few months ago

My alarm went off this morning
And I thought it was so strange I set an alarm for Saturday :(

I've come so far in one year
I was so depressed last year and plagued with anxiety
I am so different now
So comfortable, so confident, so much happier
Break ups suck and while I'm not 100% over it
It didn't break me

>I know everyone is right
>But I also know who I am and my worth
>His wants will never lead me to compromise my integrity
>I really think he just wants to know where I am
>He doesn't necessarily want me
>But he wants to know I am there
>After 17 years, I get it


He gonna slide in in..

My school kinda insulted me this week. It instituted a mandatory attendance policy across all programs. I can see it for undergrad but for grad and Ph.D folks come on man. I know its probably related to financial aid stuff (people refund pimping) but I was annoyed.

Been a rough week at the gig:
One staff person had a seizure yesterday will be out of commision.
Another one quit due to domestic violence (her bf beat her and said she couldnt use the car to come to work) I hate that guy and never met him.

My pica (specifically pagophagia) has flared up.

Did i tell yall we've been married for 10 years this past Sunday? Yep. :)
I'm thankful for him.


*****************************************
http://prettyperiod.me/

http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/

>My pica (specifically pagophagia) has flared up.

My pagophagia was so bad that I'd be grumpy like a fiend if I couldn't get at least a couple of ice cubes in. '
Now that I'm on iron, I don't even eat ice when I have it in my drinks.

I need to refill my script. I got some from the health store but I probably need that pharma dose but the ice is so good LOL

http://www.ferralet.com/ <--its what I take
*****************************************
http://prettyperiod.me/

http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/

But I was reaching ridiculous levels of addiction. I can't go back there, lol.

*****************************************
http://prettyperiod.me/

http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/

We just found out a week ago and Im super excited. So far I'm going to ghana, la and road tripping it up to toronto. Usually I say I'm gonna do something like this and never do it, but I can afford it so I'm going in fuck it. Had the opportunity to go meet a friend in Thailand next week but Imma chill lol

This is the plus side of not having kids.

Fuck it I may consider my inner ratchet Black girl and add mia to the list lol Fuck it.

I gotta buy this fool a christmas gift. I can't remember the last time I had to buy a guy a gift. Idk if I should go the thoughtful route or just get some cologne/polo etc. I had an idea to make him a "nigga survival kit" full of hennesy (white if I can find it), weed toys, beard butter, a crown royal bag full of goodies, a gift certificate for a massage some condoms and handcuffs for the happy ending ;-) and whatever else i can think of

I thought that would be fun but idk..we'll see. I'm just happy that things are good with us. I'm dying to see what he got me.

What I do know is that my ass is leaving my gift in the car until I get mines just in case I gotta downgrade the gift lol yes I'm petty as hell lolol

Everyone else asked for some LOL
*****************************************
http://prettyperiod.me/

http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/

When somebody says they're going on a cruise

alleviate some of the stress/strain.
If i can do that i'll be content.

Lesson learned. There's a reason I don't recycle.

i think it may have been the worst of my life. i've never gone from fine to blacking out from pain in such a short amount of time.

i was sick to my stomach and wasn't home. i had to call to be picked up and kept being sick. the hours that followed were HELL. i can't even articulate how painful it was. at one pt i passed out from the pain.

it was so painful that it was almost...fascinating? it was really amazing how your body can - at any time - completely turn on you and make you its bitch.

i woke up the next day and my muscles were so sore from tensing up that i felt bruised. i literally went to the bathroom to check for bruises - i could've sworn i was covered in them.

i haven't been right since. i wonder what's going on.

>i haven't been right since. i wonder what's going on.

take care of yourself

i'll go to the doc..this feels different.

the christmas spirit is in me but i am so behind on everything. i should've saved some vacation days for this week. but no time for decorations, my house is a mess, and one person at work is working my nerves. thank god for online shopping. yesterday i was 20% done with christmas shopping and this moring i am 90% done. plus i got some stuff for me too :D

i can't wait 'til friday!

I believe that I'm finished Christmas shopping for the wee one.

Now, I just gotta get the house spotless by Christmas (my hubby's gift) and figure out what the menu for Christmas dinner is going to be.

Outbreak aka my ball of cuteness has infected me with another cold. Why do your kids love to kiss and hug on you when they are sick? I really understand why...but I wish I could prevent it...but then I don't (she needs the affection when she's not feeling well). I try to combat it by taking medicine before I get sick, but it was too late.

Edited the last part in case the streets is watching...

...trying to get my mind right to start internet begging aka crowd funding. waiting until after the holidays and closer to tax season to do it. but we need it to get our next album off the ground for real.

...speaking of which the EP has gotten great reviews from folks who have heard it..but not enough people heard it. i know it just dropped but i need more people to hear it.

...gonna buy that d'angelo cd today. first time buying a cd since distant relatives (nas/damien marley). my hype for this album is so subdued though. everyone i know (and then some) love the album so i'm confident i will like it but i won't really be excited for real until i hear it. i literally gave up on dude. didn't really care to listen to whatever throw aways he was dropping over the years. but this is an event. i'm here for it.

...i have been watching my son play in the mirror for the last 15 minutes. that kid is a riot.

D'angelo album.

and I'm okay with that.

He mumbled on Voodoo and I get that. I understood a great deal of it all...but 15 yrs later, someone Questo, Pino someone dammit shouldve pulled D's coattails and been like Nah, bru we ain't going for this singin' in braille sh*t this go'round.

At 40 yrs old, I don't wanna have to read lyrics to understand what a SINGER is saying. I get not understanding a couple words here and there (i'm still strugglin' on a few Jodeci songs) but to not understand a whole phuckin' verse or song and then have someone attempt to print out lyrics and convince me this is what he said is bullshit.

I get not understanding rappers and what not...but when I can understand what Young Thug is rapping as opposed to what D'angelo is singing --it's a phuckin' problem.

gets me every time. just been sitting at home listening to it on repeat.

i got into the space to install and was like, "I GOT THIS!" but after putting up every, i realized oh shit! i so don't got this, lol. i had to spend most of yesterday cutting out more leaves and trying to plan this thing out. i hope i dont have to cut out more. lord it takes forever.

today is all about finding more pallets and breaking them hoes down.

in hindsight u might look back that it gave u an opportunity to step back and make whatever you were doing better by editing or adding to it. Always feels good after


____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

I fail to understand how anybody on here(OKP) can align themselves with certain folks(OKPs) that are certifiably off their rocker and continually prove themselves as such via the statements they make under the guise of Pro Blackness, Progressive Blackness, Pure Blackness, Blacker than Thouness, etc. etc. etc.......

2014 really might be the end of this OKP mess for the kid....it's getting to the point that there is absolutely nothing of value to be gained intellectually, culturally, or otherwise from participating in any sort of dialogue here.
.

It's part in parcel of the experience.

a severe imbalance.

Someone like say, Joe Corn Mo or IkeMoses is probably going to ignore that post, so the knucleheads get amplified.

But i'll say there's a poster that's a habitual line stepper...
and has now stepped across the line of literally demeaning folks' significant others...all under the guise of Black righteousness...
.

i'll admit that.

but it's a very old joke of mine.

and still, it stands in contrast to posters repeatedly calling other posters 'morons'.

and threatening my mommas life.

and wishing i get gunned down by the police.

or that i get run over by cars.

lol.

am i crying about it?

why are you?

why isn't your 'world' confirmed enough to withstand just a bit of wild-typing.

>i'll admit that.
>
>but it's a very old joke of mine.
>
>and still, it stands in contrast to posters repeatedly calling
>other posters 'morons'.
>
>and threatening my mommas life.
>
>and wishing i get gunned down by the police.
>
>or that i get run over by cars.
>
>lol.
>
>am i crying about it?
>
>why are you?
>
>why isn't your 'world' confirmed enough to withstand just a
>bit of wild-typing.

you crossed a line...well...yet another line....
two wrongs don't make right...but the wrong you're receiving IMO is more deserved than the wrong you continue to issue to others.

I'm not crying about it at all.



.

i'd like to think that im very composed and 'chill', as a poster.

i never yell out of anger here (rarely use all caps), i don't name call, i'm responsive.

and i only bicker with cold truth.

im very famliar with the rules of engagement.

can't you tell?

>i'd like to think that im very composed and 'chill', as a
>poster.
>
>i never yell out of anger here (rarely use all caps), i don't
>name call, i'm responsive.
>
>and i only bicker with cold truth.
>
>im very famliar with the rules of engagement.
>
>can't you tell?

podium you claim to be standing on....

Granted....I don't know your history with J-Stew, Mongo or John Forte....and what you said might very well be some kinda inside joke....but as an outsider to that...not privy to that....it pretty much deflates any ounce of legitimacy to any sort of point (valid or invalid) that you're trying to take around here.

I'm calling you out on it as I believe we should all do a better job of calling each other on disrespectful dialogue here.....might bring this place back to something worth investing time into...

all three of those posters have come at me sideways at some point or another. unprovoked and out of nowhere.

but that's not the point.

the point is i shouldn't have typed about their spouses.

but i do have a theory about a mold that their spouses fit into.

i guess that's another post.

or even for another audience.

but i'll accept being called-out about it.

yes, we are all old enough to know-better here. i can't just be typing about peoples wives like that.

... although, i did type 'probably' - doesn't that mean something?

ok ok. fellas. my bad. not ok.

baby steps for us all and shit.....

your buddy threw your name out like 'mongo married a black woman tooo'.

and i did notice you made a 'im white' joke in the other post about children with white friends.

the reality is that posts audience was not you.

and you coming in and being cute was kinda 'enh' to me.

nonetheless - my theory is about your black wife but i dont think i feel like defending it today.

my assumptions about you are:

you're a white guy who has found (or wishes to find) his footing in black culture.

married a black woman.

raising a black daughter.

and reads the word nigga about 20 times a day (thanks to this message board)

you may be a culture vulture.

you may be 'down'.

might've grew up on the 'south side'.

you might even be latin or some shit i don't know.

... that's as far as i got

oh and you like to type: 'punk bitch'. who says that?

>my assumptions about you are:

>you're a white guy who has found (or wishes to find) his
>footing in black culture.

>married a black woman.

>raising a black daughter.

>and reads the word nigga about 20 times a day (thanks to this
>message board)

>you may be a culture vulture.

>you may be 'down'.

>might've grew up on the 'south side'.

>you might even be latin or some shit i don't know.

>2014 really might be the end of this OKP mess for the
>kid....it's getting to the point that there is absolutely
>nothing of value to be gained intellectually, culturally, or
>otherwise from participating in any sort of dialogue here.

I feel you tho. I've been falling back myself, for a similar but different reason. Just tired of the unnecessary snark. I've found myself thinking "you wouldn't say shit like that to me if we were in-person," and with that thought I know it's time to log off.

>I've found myself thinking "you wouldn't say shit like that to
>me if we were in-person," and with that thought I know it's
>time to log off.


Like, I have literally not been told that by anyone in like as long as I can remember.
But yet he wants to sit here on line and just talk hella reckless to me.
You just don't talk to no 30+ year old MAN like that.
So, I'm not sure why he chose to come at me like that.


Deadzombie too.
Coming at me for having a white wife and mixed kid.
Like dude is up here seriously judging and discrediting my FAMILY.
Like, is this nigga serious?
I know this nigga MUST be fucking crazy.


We can choose to have differences on interracial marriages and fiscal policies but dont attack another poster personally because of those differences.

but a poster like cold truth steps on the scene and details a lengthy diatribe, filled with painfully descriptive carnage toward a person he's never met, and that's all good to you?

yeah, peace.

"2014 really might be the end of this OKP mess for the kid....it's getting to the point that there is absolutely nothing of value to be gained intellectually, culturally, or otherwise from participating in any sort of dialogue here. "

^^^^^^

the 1st sentence is just an example of many of things that go on here all too frequently that fit the description....

I wouldn't exactly call your take on things Pro-Black...hence my usage of the the phrasing "under the guise of.."
.

im not into offending people, directly. in fact, i doooos the conversations and healthy discussions and shit.

so i might not be who you are talking about in the first sentence.

but i know you trying to put the crazy man posing as pro-black label on me.

i don't know how i got the reputation of being a 'lunatic' or whatever it is you think of me.

but the truth is that im very sensible, fair, reasonable, and willing to engage. that's really it.

not a troll.

>im not into offending people, directly. in fact, i doooos the
>conversations and healthy discussions and shit.
>
>so i might not be who you are talking about in the first
>sentence.

Oh i'm DEF. talking about you in particular in that first sentence....

>but i know you trying to put the crazy man posing as pro-black
>label on me.

indeed....because...well...just run down some of the posts you've made over the past year...look at all the folks you've rubbed the wrong way....I don't be studying you or anybody else like THAT or nothing...but the posting pool has gotten rather small...so recurring themes simply stand out more....

>i don't know how i got the reputation of being a 'lunatic' or
>whatever it is you think of me.

Cuzz, you be typing mad wreckless sometimes...that's why.

>but the truth is that im very sensible, fair, reasonable, and
>willing to engage. that's really it.
>
>not a troll.

respect is the key that's simply been cast aside...sitewide...well...GD-wide....
Engage on.....
Your posts often end up like a trap though......for whatever reason...

this.

and i think i'll remember this exchange for a while.

but as i return to the rest of these posts around - im reminded just how out of pocket cold truth is.

and as respectfully as you approached me about this i think you should be reaching out to him as well.

his shit is kind of bananas in terms of lack of respect.

im not personally offended, but the reality is when some of the 'real' crazies (not the fake crazies like me and you) actually run into other 'real' crazies, the shit isn't going to end well.

he's probably even lucky that im so well-adjusted. is that even worth typing?

what do you think of that?

too seriously. And that's very much his prerogative....but he'll fall for obvious trolling and take it as a personal attack and the troll is instantly his sworn enemy for life. In general though, he keeps his vitreol laser focused on the people he's identified as enemies....and for the most part, the majority of them seem to be folks that were outright hazing him or trolling him or directly shit talking to him at some point in time or another.

He makes valid points about a lot of subjects just like you and everybody else here does. It just so happens that a lot of the points he makes mirror my own beliefs for whatever reason. Him and Deejboram, and some others. A common theme I THINK i'm seeing is that we're all married with child/children....maybe that colors each of our individual takes on race relations and society a little more thus putting us in parallel on many topics....who knows?


>this.
>
>and i think i'll remember this exchange for a while.

likewise. I don't want to be anybody's nemesis or sworn enemy on here. I think ultimately we're ALL of like-mind.

>but as i return to the rest of these posts around - im
>reminded just how out of pocket cold truth is.
>
>and as respectfully as you approached me about this i think
>you should be reaching out to him as well.
>
>his shit is kind of bananas in terms of lack of respect.
>
>im not personally offended, but the reality is when some of
>the 'real' crazies (not the fake crazies like me and you)
>actually run into other 'real' crazies, the shit isn't going
>to end well.
>
>he's probably even lucky that im so well-adjusted. is that
>even worth typing?
>
>what do you think of that?


I guess it boils down to; his type of crazy is more obvious and understood by the masses for the most part...and the wild WILD shit he says, like hoping you die in some kinda crazy incident, is typically directed at only you and Bin for whatever reason.... I don't even know how to approach that... also...because his platform isn't something I relate to and identify with (Blackness and the progress/upliftment of Black people is mine), I don't really feel a push to address it like i've addressed it with you.
.

He and I burried the hatchet a while ago. But yeah, he takes shit a little too seriously.

i've read it all.

how is that a display of sound thinking/judgement?

how do you defend this?

You've said some truly loathsome shit. My temper doesn't run hot like that, so you're mostly inconsequential to me, but I see how some might wish you ill.

and 'hate' being his reason for behaving the way he behaves is okay?

hate aint cool.

wishing ill on others aint cool.

i can't believe i'm the one labeled the 'lunatic'.

geez.

i kinda want you to remind me of some loathsome shit that i've typed.

but i'd rather you watch me not care.

TODAY? Gurl, bye.

not a big deal.

it's derogatory and sensational as hell, but it's not personal.

and im still sorry you all are offended.

...

the reality is that it's far from loathsome.

and our friend cold truth types with much much more venom.

Its one thing to say black women aint shit but to say certain members wives aint shit it wrong as hell.

lol

it has to be true.

Why would you even bring Cold Truth up? Honestly, that shows the level of hate you have for him by dragging his name into a convo about your line stepping.

We never got into it so it's not like I'm carrying baggage from an earlier exchange.

so there's that.

just kidding, but for real.

Human, I mean.

keep up the good work.

lol

lol

i swear, its always been a catch 22 with them.

if the kid isnt the center of their world, i cant deal. if the kid IS the center of their world, im coming behind the child AND the people that make up the foundation of that child's life.

that hes a great dad makes up a huge part of my attraction to him. but its also the thing that can stand in the way of us doing fun shit like spontaneous happy hours, sleepovers, throwing the whole day away in bed, marathon dates, etc etc.

i don't think ive ever had this close of a look at what having a child means. the joy and the sense of responsibility they bring, how they fill your heart up and give you purpose. when he talks about his son, its a little painful because it makes me feel like i'm missing out. there's a little twinge of regret i feel about being so fucking careful about birth control and condoms every single fucking time. i feel like i've been too responsible for my own damn good, lol.

i do need to be more patient tho. about everything.

dating women without kids because of exactly what you spelled out above.

The ability to sacrifice something as inexpensive as time wasn't a viable option.

I can't explain the dynamics but I'm inclined to believe that it's harder for a woman to date a single father than it is for a man to date a single mother.

I am on the cusp and feel like if we remain friends its because of this. I can't even be mad as he's is the custodial parent and makes her the center of his world.

Sucks because I like him a lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You posting in a hoe's tone (c) monkeynuts

how would you ever see the other person?

>I can't explain the dynamics but I'm inclined to believe that
>it's harder for a woman to date a single father than it is for
>a man to date a single mother.

i think youre right.

i hope he does not give up tho.

You find ways to see the other person. The hardest part of dating when you're a single dad is not only do you have to pay for baby sitting etc, you also are expected to pay for the dates. So just walking out the house to go on your date is $50. Then you gotta gas up ya ride ($20+, single parents dont be filling up the tank. LOL) After thats said and done you have to find something creative (without appearing cheap). So even at it's cheapest a routine date of appetizers/tapas/drinks is gonna run you a $100 total. Hopefully he is has friends/fam to watch the kid to knock out that initial $50.



>how would you ever see the other person?
>
>>I can't explain the dynamics but I'm inclined to believe
>that
>>it's harder for a woman to date a single father than it is
>for
>>a man to date a single mother.
>
>i think youre right.
>
>i hope he does not give up tho.
>

because I have yet to find the diplomatic way to say "I've got this" without someone feeling like I am chipping away at manhood or that I think less of them.

To me thats just logistics.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You posting in a hoe's tone (c) monkeynuts

so it's hard for a guy to let his guard down and trust it's from the heart and won't be used against him at a later date.

when I say it wont chip away at my manhood.

but you had to be a DAD.
like
i'm going to ask about them and expect you to have up to the minute updates
i expect to have time to kick it with my girls because you're with them/him/her this wknd.

i never did the deadbeat thing.

but yeah
folks SWEAR having a child is a blight on your record
SHEEEEIT
and they find out you a GOOD mama too???

the single woman with no kids and has her own, can't deal because you cant give yourself to her completely and thats usually the final piece to her life puzzle.

the woman with kids, you gotta make sure there is no drama, her kids aint bad as hell, if she will have time for you cus she got kids as well, its nuts.

i think i just gave up. i tell women right off the top, my kids live with me, they are the priority, i have no issue making time but it aint goin always be when YOU want to. i've gotten more no's than yes' so i watch t.v.



let it shine through!!!!!!

think you're lying about being with your kids all the time. Like you realize the kid(s) live here and that means they're gonna be with me the majority of the time. Single folks also fail to realize that those moments when we are childless, that it's such a rarity that we often don't want to do ANYTHING--and if we do something it's usually clean up the house for their (the kids) eventual return.

When I was in the dating scene, I often didn't want to (go out) because I'd rather spend the $100+ that would be used on a date on my child. Why spend $100 on a meal and movie when my son and I could spend 1/2 of that and have the weekend of our lives while using the other $50 on necessities such as a new coat or school uniform pants.

I'm just gonna put this here. I went out with a guy briefly who was divorced with 2 kids. He'd been divorced for years and had (as told to me) a fairly organised coparenting situation. We start dating....there was always the logistics of its my weekend with the kids etc. but again it was organised and consistent.

Right up until one weekend he said he was tied up with the kids cause his ex needed to switch weekends last minute. No harm no foul...see you when I see you.

Until I ran into him that same night out on a date.

Right

We weren't exclusive and we're grown. I don't care if you are seeing someone else but don't lie and use your kids as a get out of dates pass.

It was a wrap after that. He apologized but I could not take him seriously after that and it was a slight shame because we had gone as far as meeting friends, introduced to the kids and the ex (who I liked).

my issue is usually time, i cant go out on a damn Tuesday. i got homework, reading time, cooking (sometimes) and getting my own rest to do. i think the assumption that we lying is just cus we men.



let it shine through!!!!!!

I have been all up in Midtown Comics website. I am currently "re-purchasing" Milestone Comics from 1993. Hardware, Static, Icon, Blood Syndicate. First (probably only) Black-Owned comic company. I have the #1s of several of these series (or on order). I will get them all!

I feel a strong possibility for them to hire me after my 30 day trial period
everything is going well at the moment, no matter how pressure filled things can be at times

I should stop living waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I dont know how

I shouldnt be surprised things are okay, I work extremely hard for it to be so. yet Im not working hard enough, because it hasnt all come together yet. I'm excited for next year though

likes their gift! I feel like it was well thought out

Soooo...the reason why all these allegations came out was because NBC was pissed off that Bill tried to buy NBC?!!!! Really?!!!!

If this is just some big conspiracy to ruin Mr. Cosby then I'm pissed! One, I feel sorry for the Cosby family. And, two...I am pissed off that these women used the pain that women have felt from being attacked/molested/raped etc. to profit.

But, to be honest...I feel like the truth is somewhere in the middle. And, we will never know it. So, I'm going to just keep my mouth shut about this Cosby situation from now on.

allegations that should be taken seriously, however the fact that we
(black folks) took the bait so readily from the same outlets that drag
our collective name through the mud daily, hourly, secondly is baffling
to me.

Animals, children and the elderly. Whenever I work with any of these groups,
I'm moved almost to tears afterward. I just feel so fulfilled.


Not-quite-right opportunities keep coming up. Not in the sense that I'm being picky, but
in the sense that it's always something just off the mark of what I'm capable of doing.
I'm pleading with the Lord, the universe, to please just send along something I can actually grab hold of.


They're testing me for lupus and other autoimmune diseases. I'm not scared yet but
I'm definitely more worried than when I went in just to be evaluated for fibromyalgia.

like legit sick and tired of my supervisor...and so today we have our Secret Santa/PotLuck (which turned into a "snacks only" thing) and half of us didn't get gifts so at lunch we have to run out and buy gifts. but i'm so glad i didn't get my boss because last year she gave my gift to another one of my coworkers and pretended she bought it. like...why. but i was anonymous with her so oh well.

i was really slack on applying for PhD programs. The main school I wanted, I let the date come and go. Like terrible. However, I wrote up an essay and request for a grant. The grant will allow me to take a specialized Cancer epi class at this school, where I can get in good for with the teachers, but it's helpful to me because its' cancer epi stats, so that's dope.

but there are times when my mind drifts to writing and working on books/novels, and I hooked up one of my friends with a synopsis and outline of a book we want to do, and i'm hoping he can really get this up and going...cuz all i need is like one chance and i will let everything else go.

my period faked me out this month...it came a whole week late, which means it will come during my birthday trip next month. which pisses me off. like really...I will still go hard but you can't just fall asleep after sex with your period in a hotel.

preferably organic apple cider with the "mother"
but I've done this with regla ass white and had the same effect

I have the MyCalendar app as well so when I get the reminder that my period is due to start and I know I'm gonna want to get busy, I just take 2 to the head and keep it moving.

im going to try it just for shits and giggles. i dont think anything can stop my period (other than the obv.)

#1 I'm just stealing Nika's as I am in heavy like with a single dad but where I am now and the things I want to do will always come up against his obligations I fear. Or that we will remain friends because taking care of his teenager is all he can manage right now.

#2

Heading home to the Virgin Islands for 15 days. I CANNOT wait. Going to float the idea to my dad of moving back home. Going to use the time to do some networking and see if I can line up some job leads. Maybe by end of 2015 early 2016 I can say bye bye to the US for good. My dad is 72 and healthy but I've barely spent a lot of time with him as an adult. 4-5 days here and there once a year is not enough.

Beach, eating, drinking rinse repeat. Don't be jelly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You posting in a hoe's tone (c) monkeynuts

whats the issue?

teenagers dont need babysitters. and they almost out the house.

my dude's kid is 4.

Its been him and her since birth. 14yr olds have social lives but with a teenage daughter you have to monitor that. Between school and her activities both are busy. And he's not that kosher leaving her alone most times.

Not a lot of time for spontaneous.

Her mom is a hot mess and really is in and out her life once a year for 3 weeks.

I had floated the idea of them coming with me on my trip home since shes out of school and it would be a good break and a good time for us. Hot mess mom who has been MIA most of this year decides she wants to come onto town for the holidays and be mom for 2 weeks.

So I am going home solo. We may end up remaining friends because I just don't know how to navigate some of that.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You posting in a hoe's tone (c) monkeynuts

for college...

3.0.
only because of one class that kicked my ass this semester.
Advanced BioChemistry
hard material + an absolutely terrible terrible professor.
still should have done better though

name names fool

you're a little...opinionated and stuck on your points sometimes

but you haven't stricken me as a crazy person

im kinda just kidding.

but you actually do be sounding crazy yourself sometimes. aint nothing wrong with that either tho.

>but you actually do be sounding crazy yourself sometimes. aint
>nothing wrong with that either tho.

im kinda getting really good at my job
getting in contractors asses
i sat in a construction meeting and actually was able to follow along and understand EVERYTHING

that has never happened
ive been going to meetings off and on for years

i realize now my boss is doing right by me as far as making me take these classes

im excited

i'm also confessing that Girlchild's new hair color has me super jealous. she's so purty :)

IDGAF about NONE of it
which is really sad considering how well I'm paid to care
meanwhile I want to go back to school for my Bachelors in Hospitality Management

i'm a broken man. i string of 30+ sexy mouth'd years is over. and that shit wasn't pleasant. shots and shit. my mouth is still all numbed and jacked up. i just wanna enjoy my Chipolte.

speaking for which...Dear Chipolte on 18th and M. you're at a busy location. there is no way you should be running out of anything during lunch, let alone running out of everything. you knew you were gonna get hit....so what is that bullshit all about? i can't stand when restaurants and establishments don't properly

DC Reynolds. 2 for 1 happy hour. ON ALL THE LIQUOR. top shelf...everything. its the greatest happy hour i've experienced. and then i'mma do karaoke. i love working back in the city. i get to see my friends again. like honest genuinely good people i care about. not coming from a big family, i treat my real friends like family cause they kinda are.

my assistant at work is 36 years old, and bout...that...life. we started the same day. she's married and shit, but i think if she wasn't....there'd be a problem. she's cool tho. and although i don't believe in that work husband work wife shit...we kick it. she's from one of them Caribbean islands and has a body. and man....she just sent me an email full of innuendo and ellipses, and i just gotta stay away. i let her touch my beard. shouldn't have done that. "i like it," she said...."its so soft," she said.

Christmas. gifts buying done....still not excited. i think i got some good stuff for some people tho.

anyone ever have a good success story waiting for someone to get out of a "situation". not waiting...but open to them figuring shit out? its weird, cause i'm not gonna stop doing what i'm doing, and she's not going to stop playing house. its a lot of wants and desires and promises being made, but words are wind. but sometimes there are people put into your life for reasons. and i think both of us are interested in seeing what that reason could be after all these years. and if she's supposed to be the woman for me, and she's crazy as hell....what does that say about me?

bartending. bartending is...interesting. its fun. its a great social lesson to me cause its humbling. humbling isn't the right word, but people fuck with me. like strangers come to the bar, and just being me i'm able to make them feel comfortable and relaxed. and them just being them are able to evoke conversation. and you've got the two strangers meeting on the same plain and it can be a really cool thing. and then....they pay me fucking money. like you were so cool, and helped me have such a good time, here's $20. or here's $5 on a $10 bill. and even without the money, i'd appreciate the experience. but factoring the tips on top...its turned into a special feeling. humbling and appreciated.

this D'Angelo is kinda bigger than an album right now. its like a social bonfire. every okayplayer-y looking person i see on the street with headphones on, i'm thinking....DO THEY HAVE IT?!?!?! ARE THEY LISTENING TO IT?!?!?! i wonder what every person thinks about it, and do they recognize it for the genius it is. not only the music, but the story surrounding D'Angelo and his career. and then the fact he rushed it as his voice to the Mike Brown and Eric Garner situation. its all so compelling. and with all this going on the world and nation, we can huddle up next to Black Messiah and get warm. its soothing yet still has the feel of some sort of statement or justice. its militant happy feelz.
---------------------------------------
it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

LOL it was like reading a story
i cant explain it
but im enjoying reading about your life
and your thoughts :)

---------------------------------------
it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

>this D'Angelo is kinda bigger than an album right now. its
>like a social bonfire. every okayplayer-y looking person i see
>on the street with headphones on, i'm thinking....DO THEY HAVE
>IT?!?!?! ARE THEY LISTENING TO IT?!?!?! i wonder what every
>person thinks about it, and do they recognize it for the
>genius it is. not only the music, but the story surrounding
>D'Angelo and his career. and then the fact he rushed it as his
>voice to the Mike Brown and Eric Garner situation. its all so
>compelling. and with all this going on the world and nation,
>we can huddle up next to Black Messiah and get warm. its
>soothing yet still has the feel of some sort of statement or
>justice. its militant happy feelz.

its my shitty ass exams week - which exacerbates my overall, 'i dont like this school' disgust
but then i remember, oh but there's a new d'angelo in the world
and its just *that* much better.
i cant even explain it
i cant stop playing this- i tried to listen to voodoo the other day, but nah!
i literally bought this as soon as i could figure out itunes - and cant wait for the vinyl

Im on the phone with the recruiter now
still part-time but I can officially put this on my resume
and it's a huge company you are all familiar with
swag me up

swag you out.

Congrats!

congrats!

man...cuba libre

cuba is my adopted country. african. communist. revolutionary. sexy. i identify with cuba that ive never been to or have ANY real ties too...but @ them west indian day parades...i false flag like shit

#culturalorphan

my boss had the audacity to ream me out for some of the most piddly non important shit you can imagine...when much larger issues continue to go unresolved

but i know why, hes under pressure we're all under pressure but still, its like dude...dont even try me.

our office xmas party is going to be a catastrophe. i can feel it.

like really amazing

maybe it's stress..but there are far too many nights when i wake up screaming

my poor husband is so worried about me...

d

My boyfriend is a police officer, some of his views on certain current events are....*sigh* frustrating.

Other than that, life is perfect :)

that could put the kibosh on something.
but i'm just waiting for a good time to let that shit fly.

i'm all about perfect timing.

meanwhile in less than 48 hours i'll be sitting on the beach and i cannot wait.

:-)

i want to get as far away as i can from school right now
im leaving on saturday and not back until the day before next term -
a couple of friends had to make sure my ticket was return :o(
hoping to have a better attitude next year

i dont do family so the whole, oh are you going to visit family for the holidays qn gets awkward- been getting too much of that
(what is it with these people?)
past few xmases i spent in indonesia and phillipines- and once in mexico, a few in germany
so....now im thinking, juba? hmmm.... really?
here's hoping another civil war doesnt break out while im there

in 6 months in baltimore and i feel like this is the least social ive been in my life
- dont know the city
- dont have spots to hang out and chill at
- dont know the circles
im like one of those kids that goes to school out of state and never leaves campus.
shit.

but... there *is* d'angelo :o)



*mumbles along*

my bad. we def gotta hang out more if youre down.

>my bad. we def gotta hang out more if youre down.

i dont have time for anything except school and thats driving me up the wall
i started this term saying i was going to do at least 1 fun thing a week
and that didnt happen cause i was chasing deadlines
it definitely feeds to my hokins resentment

but yes, next year. i will make time

cds finally came in.

#digipaksonFLEEK

http://www.royallegacy.org/music-merch/the-foundation-ep

Im glad we grew out of that for the most part
it was truly the best of times and the worst of times from 2004-2009

---------------------------------------
it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

social security numbers
songs about people
exposing people as gay
chatrooms and conference calls full of heat
drama organizing reunions

you name it

I watched and participated in my share, shit today is tame in comparison

Are the same people still here or have they been run off?

easily the most message board fuckery i've ever seen.

seemed like every other day some big blow out happened and posts had to get deleted.
There was a whole hell of a lot of real life arguing and beef going on too. Glad everyone grew up.
I miss the entertainment of the drama sometimes though. Easy to say cause I wasn't in it.

Those were the dayssss! (c)All in the Family

but i can't ask him to.
i'm sad. and i don't want an LDR.
but
i still want him to come.

helped her out with a job reccomendation

she is the ideal woman

took some life experience to realize this



the last time i met anybody that held a flame to her i was already in the process of moving to nyc.


what doth life

why you not over her yet?

its more like i havent felt a higher high like that in years

ive met plenty of fantastic people but few have come close


its like once youve had a good partner you realize that your taste has been elevated

Just curious.

i was dumb, short sided and superficial


ive mentioned it here before

we went to school together, i had my eye on her for years but couldnt find a way in...finally made a way in and it was gravy as fuck for a good two years but then because i was in my 20s my priorities were off, instead of thinking about wifing her up i was thinking about the next new things

but often don't end up married to them because it was just the wrong timing when you met them.
I believe timing is everything which why some men can date a woman all through his 20's, break up and get married 2 years later to someone else.

I'm just over barista life, even though it's never dull....


I need to feel fire under my skin and anticipation in my lips. Why kats gotta be so basic these days??

*sigh*



"i wanna hug all u idiotic bastards & then set you all on fire" -Bin

www.twitter.com/bedstuybetty
http://bedstuybetty.tumblr.com/
DROkayplayer: Giving you good puff since May '05

She found me on fb and msg'd me today and sent a friend request.

IDFWU!

3 years ago left me not even wanting to be friends or see you again.

It is what it is.

Rarely get the wind knocked out of me like that, but that's what
happened.

The homie helped me get a fire DJ gig $.

Got my diet back in order, I'd been wilding out too long.

Invest now for good health in the future.

I feel great.

I like her but...

I found one the greatest samples of my career yesterday.

I need a new laptop bad, gonna take at least a couple weeks but
I'm impatient lol.

... until I found out it was 97 percent white. I need to investigate more and figure out the logistics of that situation. I've canceled tickets to Hawaii, Portland, Las Vegas, and Minneapolis in the past week because of uncertainty.

So yeah, I'm burned out to an extreme degree but have to start Masters classes inside of three weeks. Everything is messed up on end and I need to leave. However, I can't just run in the middle of the night.

Finally, spoke to family for the first time in four years and it was bittersweet. It's cool to hear from people but I can't fuck with them because I hear the disappointment/hatred in their voice.

We were on the phone for almost 2 hours, hadn't talked in months.

She's going to see her boyfriend's family for christmas.

I'm going to go out with some women I'm only kind of excited about.


Point is, the whole convo reminded me that I fucked up in college by not locking one of those girls down.

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts..." -The Bard

In the back of my mind I feel like there's a moment, somewhere in the undefinable future where I'm going to walk into my bed room, pull up the covers, lay next to a women I love, and let out the biggest, most exhausted sigh of my life, and I'll fall instantly asleep. No more chronic back pain, no more anxiety, no restlessness, just a beautiful peaceful sleep that will find me energized and excited to wake up.


....I sincerely hope this happens one day because I haven't wanted to get up in 14 years.


"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts..." -The Bard

*hugs*