that would be MY problem not his. i'd offer my support and congratulations to my son and then i'd whine and complain and wring my hands in private w/my husband. i would not make my homophobia and misogyny my son's issue. b/c i wouldn't want to make his life harder than it might already be if he's living as an effeminate boy. my struggle w/his identity would have to occur where he couldn't pick up on it. i'd do my best to keep that part of my struggle from him.