And I know using the term "Lecturing" is a loaded negative term, but do you spend time monologuing to your kids about right and wrong, etc?

I am pretty terrible at it for a couple of reasons. I honestly did not need it. I did not get into a lot of trouble as a kid and was pretty good at figuring out things on my own. My mom often says I raised myself. So they didn't spend much time talking to me like that and I always hated when anyone else tried to do it to me.

But I do feel like some people/kids need it. My brother needed it. I talk to my kids all the time and they really aren't at an age where they need it. We aren't facing those issues yet. I also feel like I tell them something once and they get it. I am sure that will change and I am not ready for it.

This is coming up for me now because I have a nephew is starting to fuck up and since his father passed my wife thinks its on me to set him straight. My initial reaction is that a 20-year-old is going to be young and dumb and going to make a gang of mistakes. He is going to do what he is going to do and he is going to figure it out and realize he is fucking up and I am not sure a speech from me will get him to see it.

For example, this little negro has wrecked two cars in just a couple of years. So I can't figure out what to say that will change how he drives. Even if I said it could kill him, he knows that because he had a best friend from high school to die in a car accident. After that, what can I SAY that will make him a better driver?

IDK. I just feel like I am going to sit down with him and point out how he is messing up and he is going to tell me "I know, I am do better" and that's going to be a short, not productive/helpful conversation.

But I can't help but think he needs a talking to. My wife who is quite capable at lecturing had a 3 minute lecture with him that apparently left him in tears. My wife don't play and she is mad direct but I don't think it worked.

My skill set with people is I am a great listener. Can even comfort people and great at not passing moral judgement (at least IRL). But it feels like kids/ young adults some times need a good verbal ass kicking when all the coddling isn't doing it (and everyone else in the family is coddling my nephew because of his loss).

IDK. Does that sort of talking to kids even work?




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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"