>Why are people so intent on painting him as this suffering
>husband


I can only speak for what I would and wouldn't tolerate. My only speculation as to why people say he's suffering is the obvious guess that they'd be suffering if they were tolerating what he's tolerating and have probably never seen anyone tolerating those things who wasn't suffering to some degree because of it.

At the same time, unconditional love itself is an act that involves suffering, so I'd say it's safe to assume there's suffering involved here... it's just that he willingly embraces it as a challenge and means of self-development. That's a big part of unconditional love if not what it is entirely in some cases.