>... I dunno.
>
>
>
>::::::: Don't come in here. ::::::::
>
>
>
>I suppose it doesn't matter. Depression or not, all I can do
>is deal with it.
>
>The only real "out" I see will take at least another 6 months.
>That's a long time to
>be floundering in the Lake of Despair. Two months in and it
>feels like you're lost at sea.
>
>
>The funny thing is, I opened up to people this time. Not to
>bring them in... I don't bring people into this dark ass
>realm.
>But I was able to step out sometimes. Every time I did though,
>it really turned out to be for naught.
>
>And now I don't know. I have to keep swimming toward land;
>that much I know.
>There is nothing and no one on that land. I know that much
>too.
>The thought of tarting completely from the ground up, totally
>alone, after swimming so long is just...
>
>I don't know why I keep trying. I just do.
>
>Can a sense of duty and morality really be all that's keeping
>me from saying fuck it and throwing myself into the depths?
>
>Maybe that's enough though.