>I HATE that I can never say this during a convo without
>having to defend myself for 30 minutes. Even women without
>kids say I'm wrong for this.


Because deep downn inside soemtimnes when it gets tough you think to yourself: why the fuck am I doing this when I can be free doing my own thing and here I am with ready made family when their own dad aint shit..thats an added albatross that nobody really wants to admit to

And because you become attached and if it doesant work out you feel the pain of not seeing them again..even though you eventually get over it

Now I will caveat this by sayuing I was 21..so there's that lol. I felt dman near doomed and that my youth was over.

Thank god we both came to our senses.

And who cares what women think? Once you have children, be you the woman or man, if your relationships doesnt work out, then the rest of your life until they are 18 is FOR THEM! not for you to find someone else and YOUR OWN happiness.

Kids dont need to be going through that blended family shit and then sometimes it doesnt even get to that point but all they see is mom or pops dating someone else once again, fucking up their own mindset etc