i was gonna give it a solid @@@@.

woulda been a @@@@1/2 but some parts were magnoliaish (i just knew they were gonna break out into "wise up")

and then part of me got in my bamboozeled-spike is forcing this -shit down my throat mode---

and then i go through an experience like i did tonight and i realize that despite my nice bank account and my kings english and my art pedigree.....

im still a nigger.

i took my mother, sister and the sgt to see denzel in julius ceasar.

arriving too late---i got seated after act one. much to the dismay of three women in row 6 near the front stage center aisle far left side.

during intermission i made a red bull run to keep up with all the elizibeathan talk of this play (@@@@ btw---nice to see 4 cats from OZ go toe to toe with den the powerhouse)---unbeknownst to them...it never occured that an ogre like me could even have a fine ass girlfriend---or an addition party of two within earshot. (in other words mom and sis were sitting right behind these three) with the sgt (aka mrs. 15)---

i mean i laugh at it cause i have to numb myself to racial ignorance--and ESPECIALLY my life.

where either i am a freak.

or i'm on tv.

when you are a freak...they point and stare and laugh and outburst and say some really onoriginal stuff (oh how i long for that scene in roxanne when steve martin challenges the "hey big nose!" guy to a dozens duel)--so i ex em out. those who dont know the roots treat me like shit: im the last seat sat next to on the first class accela train, dont let me walk into a louis v store without someone catching feelings---high end restaurants turn me down---

which i'm straight with.....

but here is where it gets lame: let em find out you been on tv.

what was the deciding factor to the sixers organization when it came time for them to FINALLY grant me my floor seats (and meanwhile every celeb and they mom get pref treament)---

chapelle show.

those lames kiss my ass cause they think i am an actor on "chapelle show"----meanwhile i been a 5 year season ticket holder and they ALWAYS david spade me on some "and you are.....???" shit.

that's lame.

go to high end spot and host gives me the once over and states...."uh you cant wear those here"

points to ice creams.

i point to guy with black sneakers--"what about him"

some lame explanation starts and RIGHT before i politely walk out...

here comes the sou chef or dishwasher guy in the ear whisperin to them of who i am then all of a sudden it is all "OH IM SO SORRY I SHOULDA KNOWN---RIGHT THIS WAY PLEASE"

lame.

the lesson i learned these past 13 years is if they find out you on tv....then most mofos are fake. seriously---cant tell how many girls or peers of mine or club bouncer/owners or whomever.....treat me like the scum of the earth and then do a 180 once they know i am questlove.

so back to story:

i leave to get red bull and the 3 women (2 old white jewish women and a bourgie black friend of thiers) decide to slander me. (i wish we knew he was sitting here we'd woulda moved.....who the fuck told him that hairstyle was still in style..?)---all of em pretty much trashed the shit outta me and then ma dukes couldnt take it anymore.

im sure it got worse but i came in on tail end of the cuss out.


but it just goes to show you that all that luda was talking about in the beginning was still true.

they think you are the scum of the earth----

and then they find out you got some shine and then the tune changes.

"even with a phd...

you still a nigga"

-malcolm x