Go back to previous topic
Forum nameOkay Activist Archives
Topic subjectWhat Is It that AA Women want and NEED!
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=22&topic_id=31578&mesg_id=31703
31703, What Is It that AA Women want and NEED!
Posted by kaytomah, Mon Oct-24-05 11:35 AM


1. Do we REALLY need a man, if we are financially stable, have our own homes, already have children(or don't want any), and I guess know how to go to Rite Aid for batteries when need be? LOL!

Every society need members of both gender for many reasons. I will not touch the anthropological aspects. Do African-American women need African-American men in there lives. I will definitely say, yes!!! The question is, what kind of AA men AA women want in their lives. When this discussion come up folks forget that we at times draw certain people to us for many reasons.

2. Polygamy: should we stop "fakin' the funk", w/ all these babydaddies, and sleepin' around w/ other people's husbands, etc., and just say 'F*** it, we just need to go on and become a polygamous society w/in a monagamous society-at-large'? & if we let Brothahs do this, do you think they could handle it(financially, emotionally & Spiritually w/o letting that Ego run amuck)?

In the West, polygamy while practice at large is almost never use. I believe it is serial relationships that many AA men and women are engage in, which is at the expense of AA women. AA women need to take themselves out of this paradox and find their own worth.

3. MRS vs MS degree: is it a "worthy sacrifice" to focus on obtaining education, career, getting your business started(or whatever the case may be), BEFORE pursuing marriage(or otherwise
committed relationship), or possibly, at the expense of?

Well said...is there room for balance..can she have both?



4. OTHERS: IF it's really true that there is a shortage of marriagable Brothahs statistically(due to the down-low<the estimates are as high as 80% of African-American men engage in this behavior, btw>, outright homosexuality, eternal bachelorhood, into white women, in jail, on drugs, blah-zay,blah-zay, blah-zay, you know the drill...), then should we look to other types/races/ethnicities of men? If not, then what is the solution?

This I am always uncomfortable with on many levels. I believe there are AA women out there that are attracting a certain population of Us that tend to get the most attention. Educated brothers are nerdy, not street enough...and an array of other associations. There are many intelligent brothas out there that are OUTSIDE that demographic that are Not consider ruff and rugged, nor loud enough. Look at the people women you know are drawn to.


5. I worked in Kenya in '02, where it is believed that a female does not become a woman until she gives birth. Agreed, or disagreed?

This is universal on many levels. The cultural aspect many vary.



I'm sure there are other ponderings(Blackwomyn's issues) that we should/could discuss/consider that I have not thought of, w/ respect to our unique needs, in our community, that pertain to, and effect, for the most part, us. Go ahead and add 'em in, and see what we can come up w/.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


I think that AA women need to define what it is they want from themselves which can eventaully lead to what they want from AA men. AA Women must be honest with their very own needs and wants before they can invite men into their evolving cycle. And, AA men, we must be honest about what it is we want from our sistas because the outcome of our actions affect our community in vast ways...

Yo, I love the way I am and can’t nobody out here change me
Rearrange me, tame me, try to game me, you don’t play me
When I grab the mic then shock the party spot
Your rhymes are flip-flop, I’ll rock, hip-hop
Non-stop, me nah stop rock
You can touch