>1. Do we REALLY need a man, if we are financially stable,
>have our own homes, already have children(or don't want any),
>and I guess know how to go to Rite Aid for batteries when need
>be? LOL!

i think so. we're all dependent on one another in some way or another. and a family can be a lot of different things. but everyone sees that sort of thing differently.

although i don't "need" someone to provide for me financially (of course, few women do these days), it'd be nice to have a partner in those affairs.

i enjoy relationships for the personal and spiritual growth they offer, not to mention the companionship and union with another. it goes deeper than who's winning the bread.

neither of my parents "needed" the other financially. their relationship was built on much more than that. furthermore, i was always taught to depend on *them* and then myself, not the partner i wound up with. with that as an example, i might have a different outlook than some.


>2. Polygamy: should we stop "fakin' the funk", w/ all these
>babydaddies, and sleepin' around w/ other people's husbands,
>etc., and just say 'F*** it, we just need to go on and become
>a polygamous society w/in a monagamous society-at-large'? & if
>we let Brothahs do this, do you think they could handle
>it(financially, emotionally & Spiritually w/o letting that Ego
>run amuck)?

no, probably not.

again, that issue is a lot deeper than it appears on the surface. i've found that even the most wounded, "jacked up" dudes really would like to "settle down", they just don't understand how. so they repeat whatever dysfunction they're used to.

i'm sure some people could/would do this depending on the sociocultural climate they were raised in, but for me? no. either you want to commit, or you don't. either is fine, but....


>3. MRS vs MS degree: is it a "worthy sacrifice" to focus on
>obtaining education, career, getting your business started(or
>whatever the case may be), BEFORE pursuing marriage(or
>otherwise committed relationship), or possibly, at the expense
>of?

i think it's more important to be "together" internally (mentally/psychologically, spiritually) first. after that the other things will come.

also, if you're in the right relationship with the right person, you won't have to "choose", per se. i've been in relationships pretty steadily for most of my adult life, and concentrating on "home" has never stopped me from getting done what i need to get done.

if he didn't support me like i was willing to support him, he got dropped.


>4. OTHERS: IF it's really true that there is a shortage of
>marriagable Brothahs statistically(due to the down-low<the
>estimates are as high as 80% of African-American men engage in
>this behavior, btw>, outright homosexuality, eternal
>bachelorhood, into white women, in jail, on drugs,
>blah-zay,blah-zay, blah-zay, you know the drill...), then
>should we look to other types/races/ethnicities of men? If
>not, then what is the solution?

i think that jail is a MUCH more salient factor (depending on where you are) then the "DL" crap, but that's another conversation.

it ain't that deep. there are plenty of good brothers out there, but a lot of ppl (men and women) have very arbitrary "dealbreakers" that make the pool seem a lot smaller than it is.

all the things you mentioned above, in my life, have been more media hype than reality.


>5. I worked in Kenya in '02, where it is believed that a
>female does not become a woman until she gives birth. Agreed,
>or disagreed?

most women understand that "giving birth" can mean a lot of things.

i understand that sort of cultural impetus (in any society where ancestors are venerated, you're going to need to keep the lines going...), but i disagree.

i'm a woman in my own right by virtue of many other things. my "birthing" comes creatively & spiritually at this point in my life. children may or may not come, but i will continue in that cycle regardless.



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