More & more american white males are marrying NON-AMERICAN white women (or asian women) because they feel that American white women are too independant/materialistic/contradictory. If Spade wants, I'll dig up the stats to back that statement up too.

So here are my questions: how are the same white women perceived as "undateable" by so many white men, suddenly date material for black men?

Did it ever occur to y'all brothas that:

1) generally speaking, the "choicest" white women have already been scouped up by their white counterparts. Therefore the ones that are willing to seriously date/marry brothas may be "settling" and in that mindstate act accordingly. Being that the white population is much larger than the black one, this gives the appearance that white women are much easier to deal with when in reality, many of you have just gotten the rejects of white men. This also applies, to a certain extent, to other groups of women who date black men. IE, that korean who married your uncle (or the white man) while he was in active duty there may have been a bit more desperate than the sista in the US who's alone but self-reliant.

2) There is a very real strain on "eligible" black men ie: not/never have been incarcerated, living wage earning, educated, heterosexual, wants a black women (accepting of darkskin a +), not to mention just a decent, honest, sexually satisfying man. Therefore most black women who are educated, never/not incarcerated, living wage earning, etc. are in the unenviable position of greatly outnumbering their male counterparts. Historically, women of almost all cultures look to link up with the strongest males/the providers - YET WHEN WE ATTEMPT TO DO THE SAME we are chastised. All of a sudden, white women aren't materialistic - how can that be when the whole white male partriarchial system is set up so that women ARE ENCOURAGED to seek the mate highest up the status ladder? Sex in the City, 90210, Dawson's Creek, Cosmo, billions in beauty products etc. ain't popular because the majority of white women are anti-establishment/gender norms. The difference is, they have many more options, including our men.

3) Being that the competition is fierce, many black women who want black men (since our aesthetic is often denigrated "other" men aren't checking for us as much as our men are checking for "others") deal with any ole brother & often get screwed. Then they have to move on without holding the past against the next black man. No other group of women have held it down as much, often alone, just to get hated on for being able. All of a sudden, the characteristics we were required to have for black survival become liabilities. I have yet to meet a brotha who can honestly say that he can't get some ass/relationship with a black women if pressed - the odds are heavily stacked in y'all faver. What i do know is that most black men won't take any ole' black woman in the same way that many sistas will work with any ole black man. How often did people here "i want a mami" from brothas - for no other reason than mami's are in style lately?

4) Many brothas fall into the standard patriarchial mindstate - promote themselves on the basis of what they do & who they're not. Then get upset when black women use those same standards to choose a mate. From what I see, the problem brothas have is not that a price has to be paid BUT the PRICE that is being set by some sistas. Plus, how many brothas are superficial in terms of the appearance of the woman they seek (usually its the men that pickup the women) - how many "good" sistas have gone under your radar because she didn't fit the visual image you want. If you're picking your dates - or who you even approach - based on the size of her ass/length of her hair/style of dress/how cute she looks on your arem, etc. how can you be upset when a woman opts to date you based on the size of your bank account/make of your car/etc. It can't be said, that black women value monetary things more, just because a select few white women don't (often because they don't/never had too). Most brothas aren't dating most white women, they're dating a handful of the group. For example: the white men who persistently ask me out, always talk about how down to earth/less demanding black women are when were the same black women black men say are materialistic.