Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 or dollhouse part 2


the day i turned 14
my mother never made it home on time
to catch me
lighting birthday candles
around my bed
for him
and he
my gemini king
made me a cake
out of flowers and complications
cheap chocolates and promises
that layered itself on top
of me
and in reverse
i gave birth
to jesus
his savior
i
let him
wash his children's feet in
my river
not knowing that one day he'd
burn crosses in my womb
for power
but we continued to fuck
without lights
and i became a shadow
dancing on bare
walls
while he kept his socks on
afraid that if he stayed too long
i would get used
to having him stay
he wanted to come and go
so he began to
break condom
wrappers in staircases
making ass cheeks beat box
and hips pop lock
to his exit
i was his theme song
"who' pussy is this?"
my answer spread out
thin across pissy walls
with red magic
markings
so that every bitch knew
his name
was attached to mine
by arrow pierced hearts
and "4-eva"
i scratched his initials
on my skins with pencil erasers
erasing pieces of me
for him
gladly
cause this was love
i was his
virgin
he was mine
my baby
jesus
my personal mission
to recapture my father's spirit
he was my
potential
all that he couldn't see
i had already planned
to poke holes
in his dreams
to recreate
a life/time
of love
my baby
jesus
he would mary
me.
© 2001 Aulelei Love

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i'll convert you & create gods between my knees
for your prayers to stay stashed in
wishes granted
if you rub it right
magic carpet rides will take you back to the beginning
i can make peter pan a man with my fairy dust
sweet musk flavored hymns will flow from your lips in testimony
pussy?
no no baby...this here
this HERE is heaven's flood gates
holding back the waters of your ancestors
come drink of me
wade in me
cause my body is the ship marcus garvey dreamt of
taking you home
lay down your picket signs of manhood & find peace in me
come be my construction paper & i'll finger paint myself into the fibers of you
stain happiness in the sleeves of all your shirts
wear your name like an engagment ring round my collar
if you ask me at the right time
i might just let you in my genes
but for now
i want to practice getting it right the first time
i want to leave some of me
hanging on to your semi hopeful romantic words of
"i'll call you when i get home"
& when you lean down to kiss me goodbye will taste sweeter
cause i'll know
my name floats in your air.

- from 'lover grow a goatee'