years ago that she thought of that. i would call and check on her. she told me she was fine. last time i saw her was in march when she, i, and alasha went to waffle house with angie and her husband while on her book tour.

she seemed happy. had a new car, talking about her job. her brother. i'm fuckin cryin my eyes out right now. what the fuck, man?

she hadn't talked about this shit for well over a year. just talked about how her truck was gonna "roll over the batmobile"...and talked about crazy calls she got working with the police...and how she found the man she was gonna marry...and how she was writing again. FUCK!

i know she didn't like staying with her folks....i told her to call when ever she felt like she needed an ear. 2-3 am. she'd sound down, and i'd make her laugh. then a year went past and everytime we communicated...she was happy. she hadn't called me in a while. i hadn't called in a while either. she seemed like she had found happiness. everytime she hit me up she was talling me about her fiance.


i feel like i fuckin failed her. like my little portion my little job. shit. i can't fuckin believe this. Dammit nikki, why didn't u just fuckin call me? or someone? i'm so fuckin pissed right now