"Real time" reviews by people who seem *slightly* less insane are here:

Engadget: http://www.engadget.com/2010/07/30/apple-magic-trackpad-review/

Gizmodo: http://gizmodo.com/5598828/apple-magic-trackpad-the-beginning-of-the-end-for-mac-os-x

CNet: http://reviews.cnet.com/pointing-devices/apple-magic-trackpad/4505-3147_7-34139831.html <-Closest to you experieence - but way less insane.

Ars: http://arstechnica.com/apple/reviews/2010/07/magic-trackpad.ars <-They asked "Tracig Trackpad" too! Funny!! Haha!!

1)Not ONE review mentioned anything about the feet being too small and the unit flying off the desk and hitting a baby because of it.

2)You think Fierfox is the well designed program and Apple screwed up their input? The API is the issue? Really? Great troubleshooting skills there.

3)Pop quiz: where does the left click zone begin and the right click zone begin? I dunno, could it be contextual based on your gestures and existing finger placement?

Or did EVERY REVIEWER out there take BRIBE MONEY from Apple to LIE about the product? (Same way they did to cover up the 2 hour battery life and 15 hour recharge cycle.)

Many of them said it was "okay" but won't replace your mouse, but none had the kind of issues you seems to actually think you have.

I think you simply hate Apple products *BECAUSE* they're beautiful. You're a shampoo-commercial-hater and the lost sixth verse of "You Ain't Fly" wrapped up in sack and beaten with a stick.

(I take this all back if you've had a stroke.)