As some of you know, I was recently burdened with a Mac that I'll need to use on a regular basis. In an effort to spread the misery around, I'll be posting periodic reviews of the hardware and software experience.

Enjoy!



Sent from my Mac.

Throughout the past week I've suffered through three different Apple keyboards:

iMac USB Model
This was the best of the bunch. This is not a very good keyboard. I found myself consistently cursing because the Home and End buttons didn't behave consistently. Ditto for the Page Up and Page Down buttons. Another annoyance is the placement of the command key. If you're going to bastardize the use of the control key then put its replacement in a reasonable location. I found my hand constantly contorting when trying to do simple key combinations such as command-c.

Macbook Pro Model
This is a slightly worse version of the iMac model. Its one saving grace is that they've opted to omit the useless page up/down buttons.


Bluetooth Standalone Model
What a piece of shit. I can't imagine who would buy this thing. I don't have it in front of me right now but it's got to be even more cramped than the MBP model. I'm actually considering asking for the shitty iMac keyboard back to get a break from this thing. This is an absolute fail.

Ha ha.

Btw, I'm reading this with Larry David's voice.

touch and siri is all you need

http://www.twitter.com/steelysteel

every now and then.

this should be good. Lol

http://i.imgur.com/K8jE4.gif

So how do u like them Apples? XD

I want to grind my Magic Mouse to dust and feed it to the idiot that designed it. It's simply a terrible piece of technology. The biggest problem is that they completely did away with functionality when they create it.

The ergonomics are terrible. I've lost count of how many times I've accidentally started to try to use it only to find out that I'm holding it upside down.

The polished surface makes the buttons/touch interface irritating to use. Today alone, I made over a dozen errant clicks because I was trying to right click and I ended up left clicking. There are no visual cues for where the touch region begins and ends. Relatedly, the scrolling interface has the same problem. It's impossible to tell where the magic line is where you can longer scroll a page by moving your finger across the surface.

What a piece of shit.

and having to buy extra peripherals just to use basic aspects of the interface.

so if you're use to an iPhone or iPad it feels like that. That's all.

We've got a bunch sitting around in the office so maybe I'll give it a shot.

love living in michigan where it's cold seven~ months out of the year. If I leave the mbp in the trunk of my car, it's gonna need a 20-30 minute warmup period before the thing is actually usable via trackpad.

#itjustworks #30minuteslater

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

its easily the most responsive I have ever used. But its also 70 degrees year round here.

wtf you leaving your computer in the trunk of your car in that god-forbidden wasteland of a city?

then yes, totally obscure.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

and/or in their freezer.

that's what car trunks are for.

are you familiar with motor vehicles?

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

I keep the laptop bag in the front seat. In the trunk that shit would slide all over the place. Or in my case my sons toys would fall all over it.

>I keep the laptop bag in the front seat. In the trunk that
>shit would slide all over the place. Or in my case my sons
>toys would fall all over it.

I throw mine in the trunk *if available* just cause a laptop bag isn't too hard to figure out and there are usually bricks around.

I try to leave nothing in my seats if possible.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

if I am out with it and have to stop at a few other places that shit is going with me. My insurance aint covering this thing getting stolen. Stop to eat lunch, I'm getting a booth and a coke with 2 straws. We go grocery shopping, Im sitting it in the cart and strapping it in.

why are people leaving their laptops in their cars at all. i get if you have to make a stop on the way home, but y'all are making it sound like you're leaving it in the car overnight n' shit. why?

but thats probably because i don't have a trunk

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

then go to another store

you take the bags out of the car and into the next store with you?

no one does this.

it's what the trunk is for.

when I go out to eat, or go to a bar, or go shopping, or go to a game I might need to write a post if something happens. I'm not going into a bar with my laptop on me. i'm not leaving it on the seat. this leaves....the trunk.

I don't know how or why someone would suggest using the trunk of acar for storing things is weird behavior.

this shit here:

>>>We go grocery shopping, Im sitting it in the cart and strapping it in.

next story: OH SHIT I LEFT MY MBP AT WHOLE FOODS


http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

the other day I had a consultation with a couple and drove out to their place. Had the laptop with me. Afterwards I had to stop off at a couple of spots. I took the bag inside with me. Between the heat and the economy I am not taking any chances on shit getting fucked up.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

maybe cali is different, but leaving a few grand worth of electronics on your seat is a good way to get a window smashed in literally every other place in the world.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

my badddddd


yall domesticated ass niggas are really just worried about keeping things light for the kids and the wifeyboo.

as you may or may not be aware, if you're not in a monogamous relationship, it's actually sort of weird to just tote bags around all the time. but yall already got fanny packs and shit on so it really ain't no thing to you.

I get that.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

depending on where you're parking your car. If I'm in an area where I know it's fine (like my job's parking lot) I may keep my laptop on the seat. Most of the time, it's gonna be in the trunk. If I'm in a shady area though, it's going with me.

is to leave it open and logged in on the roof of my car with a tip jar next to it.

you know, just in case people need to check their email

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

>and/or in their freezer.

...otherwise what's the point?

if your tweets ain't at least -20 degrees, you're doing it wrong

double post... computer was too warm

problem solved.

i'm out.
_____________________
"WHOLESALE REUSABLE GROCERY BAGS!!"
@etfp

My one gripe with the TrackPad is you need a solid surface to operate it. I mainly use it in the living room to control my Mini hooked up to the TV. So I wind up resting it on my iPAD. LOL.

but this isn't true at all.

i have that shit on my leg or a couch cushion half the time.

I fully agree it is an absolute piece of shit.

My MBP track pad tho is the shit, I love that thing. Only time it gives me problems if it gets any moisture on it like if my hands are a little damp.

Other than, I'm originally from New England and have had 0 problems in the cold with it.

hate better

>I want to grind my Magic Mouse to dust and feed it to the
>idiot that designed it. It's simply a terrible piece of
>technology. The biggest problem is that they completely did
>away with functionality when they create it.
>
>The ergonomics are terrible. I've lost count of how many
>times I've accidentally started to try to use it only to find
>out that I'm holding it upside down.
>
>The polished surface makes the buttons/touch interface
>irritating to use. Today alone, I made over a dozen errant
>clicks because I was trying to right click and I ended up left
>clicking. There are no visual cues for where the touch region
>begins and ends. Relatedly, the scrolling interface has the
>same problem. It's impossible to tell where the magic line is
>where you can longer scroll a page by moving your finger
>across the surface.
>
>What a piece of shit.


<--- ...watch out Mountain West?

-

I got a Logitech recently and love it, but primarily because the transmitter is so small& it's for a laptop. Before that, MS for over a decade.

I love it

particularly during those early lazer mouse years.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

I seriously dunno how they do it.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

.

to a Logitech G500 that I have.

Directional scrolling and gestures won me over, so it's the only mouse I use unless I am on my W7 HTPC.

http://bettertouchtool.en.softonic.com/mac

it allows you to tweak your mouse.

works wonders.

Otherwise I'd just install Linux on this piece of shit and call it a day!

It took me a little while to get used to the keyboard and mouse but it'll become second nature soon.


http://www.twitter.com/steelysteel

for the prom with it's date. Gets me all misty eyed to see Hate so grown and ready for graduation.

Anchor it!

and if anything his ability to support his arguments against the crap will have developed even further.

http://www.pbfingers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/orville-redenbacher-pop-up-bowl.jpg

pause

When they first announced this thing I couldn't figure out why people were going nuts over it. It just seemed like people were fawning over yet another useless toy.

After using this thing for about a week I think I get it. Apple's mice and laptop trackpads are so shitty that this thing actually seems decent by comparison. It has better gesture recognition than the mouse and is more spacious than the built in keyboard.

That said, this product should not exist. It's actually pretty annoying to use. The pairing process is terrible. It seems like I have to redo the process every few days. Also, although the gesture recognition is improved it still sucks. The two finger side swipe gesture only works 2 our of 3 times. Deplorable. Another problem is that it's not very stable on my desktop. There can't be any papers aren't it or it gets wobbly or starts to shift from under my hand. Lastly, the ergonomics need work My thumb constantly misses the click area because it ends up not extending as low as expected.

The rational move would be to build a better mouse. Instead Apple opted to invent a third slightly less shitty input method.

I highly suggest buying this gadget if you've decided to limit yourself to only Apple input devices for some idiotic reason.

Just lock the post now. You're just lying.

If you're going to snark there has to be some truth in it.

Give me a Daily Show level satire, not Rush Limbaugh level verbal diarrhea .

The magic mouse is not good - but the trackpads are much better than any other trackpads out there.

>If you're going to snark there has to be some truth in it.

Your right, Android isn't fragmented, the galaxy Note isn't huge, and the iPhone stole all of it's ideas from Stanley Kubrick's 2001.

http://i445.photobucket.com/albums/qq176/bobbert4ever/rage.gif

Like, whoever works in that department just needs to jump out of a window. I will say I disagree with the laptop trackpads though; considering that the window for those can get REALLY shitty among laptop manufacturers it's pretty damn solid; im a fan.

Try clicking near the bottom of the pad. It's pretty easy!
Try clicking in the middle of the pad. It's harder...
Try clicking near the top of the pad. It's almost impossible!

Why so much inconsistency?

The problem still exists in the Magic Trackpad but it's much worse on the MBP trackpad.

Turn on tap-to-click
________________________________

(屮ﾟДﾟ )屮

When I turn on tap-to-click, I literally tap to click.
I can use to whole trackpad, top to bottom. One finger tap for left click, two finger tap for right.
________________________________

(屮ﾟДﾟ )屮

The mac is an overpriced piece of shit and Nopayne is supposed to be reviewing it.

<------ Boho Model Madness Presents: Andy Allo

http://www.gifsoup.com/view3/2298233/andyallo2-o.gif

http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://djshinobishaw.tumblr.com/
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c) T510

Makes for enjoyable reading. Shitty biased review? Hell yeah but entertaining nonetheless.

This thing's been plugged in for 8 1/2 hours now and the battery has only made it to 12% charge.

They all say how much the input sucks and how it will not charge the battery.

Stop LYING and start SATIRIZING.

http://www.twitter.com/steelysteel

I was watching the battery level all day and it would make it up to 12% then it would stop charging. Then 15 minutes later it would drop to 11% and start charging again. I shut this thing down last night to let it charge for real and it made if up to 99%.

I've also run into a problem where if I tell it to shutdown then close the lid it'll just go into sleep mode instead. Then when I come back hours later to actually use the computer it'll immediately shutdown as soon as I open the lid. Terrible.

Apparently this isn't uncommon. I'll need to reset something with the batter controller software some time this weekend.

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/3707987?start=0&tstart=0

is, but that definitely sounds like the issue.

Regarding the sleep issue, That's the way apple designed the shit to operate, you close the lid, everything stops. How is that a problem?
To each his own, i guess.


http://www.twitter.com/steelysteel

It sucks cause this computer is fresh from Apple's child labor mines (#HandleBait).

The sleep issue is actually really stupid imo. If I've already confirmed that I want to shutdown then it shouldn't be interrupted. Why should I have to sit around waiting for the process to complete before I close the lid? It should just work.

>It sucks cause this computer is fresh from Apple's child
>labor mines (#HandleBait).

>It sucks cause this computer is fresh from Apple's child
>labor mines (#HandleBait).
Touché. I can understand tho. That shouldn't happen with a new piece of hardware but as we all know, shit happens. They'll give you a new battery in the store if you have a chance to visit the store.

>The sleep issue is actually really stupid imo. If I've
>already confirmed that I want to shutdown then it shouldn't be
>interrupted. Why should I have to sit around waiting for the
>process to complete before I close the lid? It should just
>work.
If you had an external monitor, mouse and keyboard connected this wouldn't be an issue. For people using it as the mobile device that it is, sleeping when I close the lid makes a hell of a lot of sense to me.
I've had the opposite happen leaving work and issued the sleep command on the thinkpad only to find out that the shit woke up after disconnecting it from my docking station. I open my bag after an hour long commute only to find the inside of my bag hot as fuck and half the battery discharged because the shit was awake.

http://www.twitter.com/steelysteel

it's in the middle of the shutdown process, in which case it finishes the shutdown process. This doesn't seem like a difficult thing to design; I'm actually kinda shocked to hear that Apple hasn't implemented that.

Just seems logical to me.

I just tested it a few times.
The only time it didn't work was when I had apps open with unsaved files.
________________________________

(屮ﾟДﾟ )屮

>I just tested it a few times.
>The only time it didn't work was when I had apps open with
>unsaved files.


----------------------------

Young Broadway Star Urgently Needs a Bone Marrow Donor. Is it you? http://MatchShannon.com/







O_E: "Acts like an asshole and posts with imperial disdain"




"I ORBITs the solar system, listenin..."

(C)Keith Murray, "

and if a program crashes or hangs... it just doesn't shutdown, because it decides to prompt you to do what you already asked it to do. lid closed or otherwise.

nothing like pulling a blazing hot mbp with an almost dead battery out of your bag.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

is stuff that will logically be foreign to you coming from non-mac environments. it's going to take a little while to get used to for even someone who wants to love the new digs. not to mention those of us who are predisposed to hate.

lol like seriously, you're gonna shit on the magic mouse cause you keep grabbing it the wrong way? that's less of a design issue than someone just being a dimwit.

there's some REAL mac/OSX niggles that really deserve a good lampooning here. i'll wait.

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

i'm out.
_____________________
"WHOLESALE REUSABLE GROCERY BAGS!!"
@etfp

I know I was going to move onto software this week but I haven't decided how properly put my disdain for the dock into words yet. As a result, I'm gonna do a followup to my trackpad review. It looks like a good a few things wrong and a few things right.

First of all I was wrong about the two finger swipe behavior. I was annoyed and frustrated because Firefox rarely detected the side swipe gesture correctly. This makes navigating back and forth between pages a hassle. I tested the same thing in Chrome and it works pretty well. I wonder what the deal is? You'd think the OS would have a gesture detection API built in so that the behavior would be pretty consistent.

I was also an idiot for omitting its terrible right-click detection. As a developer, I rely on using context menus constantly so this needs to work. Control-click is pretty lame and two finger tap is somewhat better. I've noticed this thing intermittently decides that it doesn't want to detect this type of click anymore. I can't figure out what's going on but it's simply unacceptable to have this fail. I've downgraded to the two finger tap behavior.

Lastly, I got a lot of heat for describing how poor the industrial design of the trackpad is. I decided that the best way to illustrate my point was through, er, illustrations. Take a look at exhibit A:

http://i41.tinypic.com/213f68j.jpg

Here we have the underside of the trackpad. Notice how ridiculously small the rubber feet are. They provide almost no traction at all which causes the device to slide away from me when I'm scrolling up. Two more pics to better illustrate just how little surface area they cover:

http://i39.tinypic.com/b7xcec.jpg
http://i42.tinypic.com/f2n3b.jpg

There are a few ways to solve this problem. The most straight forward would have been for Apple to spend a few extra cents to make the feet larger to increase their traction. They could have also designed the pad with an additional 'leg' to add even more traction. Of course they'd never do this because it would add a few cents to the manufacturing process and cover up the oh so hip logo that they embossed on the bottom. What a disgrace.

An alternate approach is to make the pad level to the desktop instead of angled. This would require less padding but is less comfortable to use.

One last picture for show and tell:
http://i43.tinypic.com/4ixypv.jpg

Pop quiz: where does the left click zone begin and the right click zone begin? Trick question! It varies! I even experimented with hitting the pad in the very, very lower right corner of the pad. This still gave me inconsistent results. What a piece of shit.

They should really redesign this thing. You can tell that a lot of usability and functionality was sacrificed in order to make something that'll look good sitting on your desk.

"Real time" reviews by people who seem *slightly* less insane are here:

Engadget: http://www.engadget.com/2010/07/30/apple-magic-trackpad-review/

Gizmodo: http://gizmodo.com/5598828/apple-magic-trackpad-the-beginning-of-the-end-for-mac-os-x

CNet: http://reviews.cnet.com/pointing-devices/apple-magic-trackpad/4505-3147_7-34139831.html <-Closest to you experieence - but way less insane.

Ars: http://arstechnica.com/apple/reviews/2010/07/magic-trackpad.ars <-They asked "Tracig Trackpad" too! Funny!! Haha!!

1)Not ONE review mentioned anything about the feet being too small and the unit flying off the desk and hitting a baby because of it.

2)You think Fierfox is the well designed program and Apple screwed up their input? The API is the issue? Really? Great troubleshooting skills there.

3)Pop quiz: where does the left click zone begin and the right click zone begin? I dunno, could it be contextual based on your gestures and existing finger placement?

Or did EVERY REVIEWER out there take BRIBE MONEY from Apple to LIE about the product? (Same way they did to cover up the 2 hour battery life and 15 hour recharge cycle.)

Many of them said it was "okay" but won't replace your mouse, but none had the kind of issues you seems to actually think you have.

I think you simply hate Apple products *BECAUSE* they're beautiful. You're a shampoo-commercial-hater and the lost sixth verse of "You Ain't Fly" wrapped up in sack and beaten with a stick.

(I take this all back if you've had a stroke.)

http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/rjcc.png

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

1. Nobody said anything about it flying off my desk. It shifts by a couple millimeters every time I scroll up. Maybe it doesn't bother you but I have standards.

2. I didn't say who was at fault. I said that I was surprised that the behavior was different between applications. I assumed there was an API to ensure consistency.

3. If it's contextual then it's doing a shitty job. If it's not contextual then it's doing a really shitty job. Draw your own conclusions.

You should really calm down. This post is not good for your sanity.

I think you just don't want Nopayne to be the most entertaining person in the thread.

God damn these things are a piece of shit.

Why is it so hard to right click on a magic mouse? Why do I need to put that bitch on its back just to charge it?

Why can't the computer make up its mind between asking for a fingerprint or a password?

Why does locking the computer shut off WIFI? Why does it take forever to reconnect?!?!?!

Touchbar? Ugh.

Fuck this shit.

I have newer mbp 15 from work that replaced the old one (not that new, it's like a gen before the one before the touchbar mbps) and it's far less shitty.


still already frayed a power cord in less than a year.


I had honestly forgotten about this thread.


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I have a 2015 mbp. No problems with magic mice as I switched to the track pad. Much better, imho.

You are correct on the other points though. All in all, i'd still rather use a mac that a shitty lenovo/dell/hp turd running windows.

Full disclosure: I run win10 occassionally on my main rig when I want to play a game or two, so I'm not a full windows hater.



http://www.twitter.com/steelysteel

Apple got you GOOD!!

It's like no other mouse will work with the mac!!
Got you!

You have to change a rechargeable mouse!!
Got you!

Won't accept a password at all times?!!
Got you!!!

That you have to use the Touch Bar of the machine exploded?
GOT YOU!!!

hahaha.

SUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd gladly take it off your hands.

>God damn these things are a piece of shit.
>
>Why is it so hard to right click on a magic mouse? Why do I
>need to put that bitch on its back just to charge it?
>
>Why can't the computer make up its mind between asking for a
>fingerprint or a password?
>
>Why does locking the computer shut off WIFI? Why does it take
>forever to reconnect?!?!?!
>
>Touchbar? Ugh.
>
>Fuck this shit.

Adjust your settings for fingerprint/password and stop bitching about extra security. Your ass wouldn't be complaining if it was stolen and it takes the thiefs forever to get pass the security if they get past the security.

You can't bitch about the touchscreen keyboard and support windows with touchscreens on notebooks.

Now go back to hating.

I can't stand touchpads.

welcome back lol

using is the computer itself...
Everything else should be Logitech, or Microsoft or some other brand that actually knows how to make sensible peripherals....



"Get ready....for your blessing....."

Why has my "b" key stopped working for no reason?

the b doesn't feel loved